Full question: Children should be given room to fail. How far do you agree?
Source: CHIJ Katong Convent 2025 Sec 4 Prelim
Question type: Argumentative
I personally think it is okay to answer this as a discursive. However, I have seen cases of teachers/schools insisting such questions are purely argumentative because of the word “should“, which to them implies that one view is “better” than the other and that you must fight for/against said view. I cannot influence the school from where I am, so I am going to err on the side of caution here.
Model Essay
Advisory: This essay contains references to suicide. This essay is crafted for the purposes of language assessment and is not intended to be professional commentary or a resource cited for professional decisions.
Letting a child fail seems counterintuitive when the supposed role of a parent is to protect a child from harm. Yet, this desire to protect can go too far, stunting a child’s long-term development or even inflicting unintentional psychological scars. In my view, parents need to be aware of the consequences that being an overprotective parent may ironically lead to, and in fact allow their children room to fail rather than trying to bail them out of the slightest problem.
| Notes: This introduction establishes the premise that it does seem a little unusual for a parent to let their child fail, before giving a brief overview that being overprotective can lead to certain issues down the road. After that, state your view – parents should thus allow some room for their children to fail (in order to manage some of the earlier issues). | |
| Word/Phrase | Meaning |
| Counterintuitive | Something that does not make sense or happen in the way one expects |
| Stunt(ing) | To prevent growth/development of something before it is fully grown |
| Ironic(ally) | Interesting or strange as it is different from someone’s expectations |
| Bail [someone] out | To get someone out of a problem. (“bailing someone out from jail” – you put in the effort (money) so a person can leave the jail) |
Overprotection leads to a child without the risk appetite for even the most trivial of independent decisions, or resilience in the face of setbacks. This becomes especially pronounced when we consider that parents continue to play major roles even after their children reach adulthood. This extends far beyond just helping their children with drafting resumes. Some Gen Z jobseekers have reported bringing a parent to a job interview; a career coach from e2i reported their client’s parents sitting in on consultations[1]. There is no doubt that many parents are rightfully concerned about their children’s well-being. However, I would argue that not allowing a child to grow into their feet is the greatest failure of all.
| Notes: This paragraph inspects how overprotection leads to a child developing without the ability or resilience to stomach risk and failure. More importantly, they become incapable of making independent decisions and will sometimes seek out a “trusted adult” – even though they already ARE the adult. We also discuss how parents, too, are remaining involved even when their children enters adulthood. | |
| Word/Phrase | Meaning |
| Risk appetite | The degree that someone is willing to accept disadvantages |
| Trivial | Extremely minor and of little importance; frivolous |
| Grow into their feet | I have seen this used in a couple of books and webpages, although it is not in an official dictionary. It is usually used to mean “growing up and maturing”. My personal theory is that it comes from how someone has to let their inner child grow up (psychologically) in order to fit their physical body with adult-sized feet. |
Our aversion to failure likely stems from how we measure success as a zero-sum game. Missing metrics for success, such as admission to a “good” school, securing a scholarship, or a successful, well-paying career, is “failure”, and a reflection of a deficiency. Sometimes, this has tragic consequences. Years ago, a Primary 5 boy took his own life after receiving failing grades for the first time[2]; he would be “lightly caned” on the palm by his mother for every mark shy of a 70 per cent target. Parents should be aware that demonising failure may ironically be driving a rift between themselves and their children. The emotional toll leaves long-lasting mental scars in its wake.
| Notes: This paragraph looks at how society places “success” and “failure” on opposite ends of the scale, and pushes the idea that failure is something to be avoided at any cost. In the process, one’s self-worth becomes attached to success (and a lack thereof when in the opposite direction as well). | |
| Word/Phrase | Meaning |
| Aversion | A feeling of strong dislike/unwillingness to do something |
| Stem(s) | Originates; comes from |
| Zero-sum game | A situation between multiple people or groups, where gains/wins come at the expense of someone’s loss. This term is usually used in game theory and the finance sector. Example: A, B, and C all want at least half of a cake. They compete to see who gets both halves of a cake; this means one person will not have a cake since the other two refuse to divide their respective halves further. |
| Metrics | Goals; values that measure something |
| Deficiency (deficient) | A shortage/lack of something |
| Shy | Falling short; not enough to reach a goal |
| Rift | A very large gap separating two things. |
To want to protect one’s own children is only natural. Most certainly, we do not want them to expose themselves to immediate risk or harm. But what of matters where there is no clear “right” or “wrong”, such as a failed relationship, difficult task, or interview? A child learns nothing from their parents intervening – aside from the possible takeaway that someone will always bail them out. This proves detrimental in the long run for one simple, bitter reason: this safety net will not exist forever, no thanks to the natural lifespan of humans.
| Notes: This counterargument raises the point that parents, as much as they want the best for their children, will not be around forever. As such, they need to consider whether they need to be involved and directly intervene in every aspect of their child’s life, even as they near adulthood. | |
| Word/Phrase | Meaning |
| Intervene(ing) | To step in and interrupt, often to stop a problem from worsening |
| Detriment(al) | Harmful; having negative effects |
| Safety net | Used metaphorically, it describes something that will catch a person so that when they fail, the severity of the consequence(s) is/are greatly lessened |
| No thanks to | A sarcastic phrase that roughly means “because of” |
Birds teach their fledglings to fly by standing a little further away from the nest each time they return with food. To feed, these fledglings must leave the nest. In the process, they spread their wings, learning fall by fall under their parents’ watchful eyes, until they are capable of flight. Human parents could stand to take a leaf out of this book by giving their own children this same space to fail too. Only then will their children gain the confidence and resilience to tackle life’s challenges head-on.
| Notes: This concluding paragraph contrasts the way birds raise their young to how humans are doing the same. In a sense, this paragraph subtly asks the question: “Why is an apparently lesser species doing what some humans are apparently incapable of doing?” After that, we summarise the main point of our essay – humans need to give their children space to fail, so that their children can then tackle challenges that come their way. | |
| Word/Phrase | Meaning |
| Fledgling(s) | A baby bird, that has developed past the stage of a “hatchling” (just hatched from the egg) |
| Could stand to | “can afford to”; should (do something) |
| Take a leaf out of [someone’s] book | To follow/copy someone else’s behaviour or action |
(492 words)
[1] https://youtu.be/z_VO-YL84IQ?t=284
[2] https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/death-of-boy-11-who-fell-17-floors-after-failing-his-exams-for-the-first-time
Where to seek help
If you, or anyone you know may wish to talk to someone, you can reach out to one of the helplines below (for Singapore readers).
- Samaritans of Singapore: 1767 (24-hour Hotline), 9151 1767 (24-hour CareText, WhatsApp)
- National Mental Health Helpline: 1771
- Touchline by Touch Community Services: 1800 377 2252
- Tinkle Friend (for primary school-aged children): 1800-2744-788
- For readers outside Singapore, find international helplines here.
- Contact 24-hour emergency medical services if someone you know is at immediate risk or harm.